Of Loving and Fighting
by the sirens song88
Summary: If you object to Zutara, don't bother reading this. This starts up where Book 2 left off. Katara is trying to take care of Aang and deal with the anger and hurt that Zuko's betrayal caused her. What will happen when she sees Zuko again?
1. Reflections

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

**Chapter 1 **

**Reflections**

_I can't believe I believed him! I started to trust him! How could I have been so stupid!?_ A cold chill ran down Katara's back for the thousandth time since that day. She'd barely slept; she was so worried about Aang. He was recovering, but it had been so close, so very close. The only reason he was alive at all was because she'd had her water from the Spirit Oasis. He'd been asleep since she'd healed him outside of Ba Sing Se. That was three days ago.

_If I had healed his scar... _No! She wouldn't think about it. It did no one any good to dwell on the might have been's. Right now they were flying to the Eastern Air Temple. Katara didn't know enough about Aang's background to trust herself with his healing, seeing as he hadn't woken up yet. She was going to find the guru that had helped Aang learn how to control the Avatar state. She had questioned the decision a hundred times, but what other choice was there? Where else was safe enough for her to bring him in this condition, now that Ba Sing Se had fallen...

A fresh surge of hatred spread from her chest to all extremities. He'd spoken to her. He'd apologized to her. He'd shared some of his past with her. Then, before the seed of trust could bloom into anything more, he'd betrayed her and burned his only second chance. _I hate you! Zuko, I hate you!_ She started to cry again. She tried not to in front of the others, but saved it until the night, when they were less likely to hear. The sun had set nearly an hour ago. The others had gone to bed soon after.

The Earth King slept curled up next to Basco. Sokka slept on the ground near the fire. Toph had bent her own fort. Katara lay on Appa's tail with Aang. She had barely left his side, in case he should awaken or get worse. Somehow she felt responsible for what had happened. She didn't really know why, but there was an intense guilt hovering over her and she needed to know that he would be okay. They would reach the guru soon and he would be able to help. She had faith in that, because if she didn't, there was nothing left. She lay her head to rest on her arm. When she closed her eyes she immediately fell asleep, but falling asleep wasn't her problem. It was the dream. That day plagued her every time she closed her eyes, forcing her to relive the fear, the hurt, the anger, barely escaping in time. But this time it was different.

_There was a flash of light out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head in time to see the light in Aang dim. She watched in horror as he began to fall. She reacted without thought, only knowing that she HAD to catch him. When she did, he was barely breathing. He was dying in her arms. She had to get out! Iroh came then; he saved them. She would forever be grateful to him. Carrying Aang, she quickly found Appa. The others were there already. They helped her get him up. Someone yelled yip yip. She reached into the pocket of her robe for the vial of water. Uncorking it, she moved to empty the contents into her hand, but nothing happened. She shook the vial, reaching for the water with her bending. Nothing happened. Aang's breathing stopped. NO!! she cried out, nearing hysterics. The water couldn't be gone. She hadn't used it; she hadn't! And then before her eyes appeared the image of Zuko, fully formed and scar free. She stared in horrified wonderment as he reached up and felt his cheek, his eye, his ear. Then he looked into her eyes and smiled. It wasn't anything like she was expecting. There was excitement, but not triumph. There was happiness, even joy, but without arrogance or conceit. The effect of that smile was profound. She could scarcely take it in, but before the image faded she could feel the last bit of life drain from Aang and knew that he had died. She screamed, a blood-curdling, heart-wrenching, terrified scream._

"Katara!!! Katara, wake up!"

Katara jumped up so fast she would have fallen off of Appa if Sokka hadn't caught her. She started flailing about, writhing and squirming to be free of him. She still hadn't stopped screaming.

"Katara, calm down! It's me, Sokka. Katara, it's okay," he said, keeping a tight hold on her until she had calmed down a bit. "What happened; are you alright?"

"Aang. Where's Aang?" she asked. Her breath was still coming short and she was frantically looking all around her.

"He's right here. He's fine," he said, letting go of her as she dropped down beside Aang. She felt his heartbeat, his breathing, his temperature and when everything was normal, she put her head on his chest and burst into tears. Sokka sat down beside her and pulled her off of Aang and into his arms. She gratefully accepted the comfort of her brother as she cried her heart out.

"I keep seeing him fall– back in that cave. I keep seeing it. I keep reliving that moment, the fear, the panic, only this time I couldn't save him. The water– the water was gone and I couldn't heal him. Zuko was smiling and I couldn't save Aang!" She was sobbing so hard by this point that Sokka could barely understand her words. What he did hear he didn't really understand the meaning of anyway. Toph appeared on her other side and started rubbing her back in an uncharacteristic sign of affection.

"It's okay, Katara. Aang's going to be alright. You healed him and now we're bringing him to the guru. You've done well. No one could do more," she said quietly. It hurt her to see Katara like this, but she didn't want to show it.

The Earth King and Basco looked on from beside the great bison. He felt like an intruder. The moment was so intimate and he didn't really have the right to be there. It was something of an epiphany for him to come to such a conclusion. For his entire life, he'd been living in naivete. Had he not seen the betrayal of Long Feng, the treachery of th Dai Li, or the fall of his kingdom, he would never have questioned his right to be anywhere. Now he did. He turned away from the small group and headed a ways off into the forest. They would give the group some privacy for the night. It was the least they could do. "Come along Basco."

The three of them fell asleep curled up together in the warm fur of Appa's tail. Aang lay in his unending slumber next to Toph, who was holding Katara's hand. Katara had fallen asleep on her brother's chest. He'd let her hair out of her braid and was running his fingers through it. Their mother had always done that when they were young, especially when they'd been upset. He knew it would help to calm her down. He hadn't counted on it putting himself to sleep too. There were no more nightmares that night.

Katara opened her eyes to a beautiful sunrise. There were so many colors. Pinks, oranges, and purples painted the clouds as they saw fit. She hadn't seen the like in years. She felt a strange kind of peace about her. It was the peace of those who have emptied themselves of every emotion, to the point that they feel nothing anymore. She knew even as she stared into the sky that it was only temporary, that soon she would feel it all again. For now, it was good to be empty.

She looked around her and realized that Sokka and Toph had fallen asleep comforting her. She smiled even though her heart grew a little sad. She was so blessed to be surrounded by those she loved. She gently pulled Sokka's hand away from her hair and placed it on his chest as she sat up. Then she let go of Toph's hand. Slowly, she stood, so as not to wake them. _Let them rest a bit longer. _She moved around to Aang's other side. He didn't seem hurt. He just looked like he was sleeping. Climbing down from Appa's tail, she headed into the forest. She wanted to take a bath.

On the way to the nearest stream she spotted Basco and the Earth King.

_It's so good that they have each other. I don't know how the king would have made it through all of this without Basco. They're as close as Aang and Appa. Aang..._

Once again her thoughts turned to that day. She pictured him as he rose up in the face of the prince and princess of the Fire Nation, surrounded by enemies. Thinking of Zuko led her mind back to that fateful conversation.

_"You're a terrible person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace! But what do you care? You're the Fire Lord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood."_

_"You don't know what you're talking about."_

_"I don't? How dare you!? You have no idea what this war has put me through, me personally! The Fire Nation took my mother away from me." _

She could almost feel the tears that had run down her cheeks. She'd been so furious with him, but then he'd surprised her.

_"I'm sorry... That's something we have in common." _

He'd sounded so sincere. She had believed him. He wasn't the boy he'd been when she first saw him attacking her home in search of Aang. He actually made her rethink her judgements of him, made her regret her anger.

_"I'm sorry I yelled at you before."_

_"It doesn't matter."_

He was so free of his usual anger and enmity toward her that she actually felt the need to explain herself to him.

_"It's just that for so long now, whenever I would imagine the face of the enemy, it was your face."_

_"My face. I see."_

He'd reached up to his scar. As if she could judge him on that alone. Remembering that his father was displeased with him forced her to look at him in a new light. He was rejected by his family. That would be hard for anyone, let alone an heir to the Fire Nation throne. And it actually spoke for him that his family couldn't understand him, that he didn't fit into their merciless and evil ways.

_"No, no. That's not what I meant." _

He'd made her look at him as a person, rather than the representative of a nation that had banished and dishonored him.

_"It's okay. I used to think this scar marked me: the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."_

He'd sounded so human, so real. Looking back, it seemed foolish to think of him as anything else, but in the midst of all their struggles and confrontations there wasn't a time when she saw him as anything but an enemy... until that moment.

_"Maybe you could be free of it."_

_"What?"_

_"I have healing abilities."_

_"It's a scar. It can't be healed."_

_"This is water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. It has special properties, so I've been saving it for something important. I don't know if it would work, but..."_

She looked down at her hand. _This hand... _It had touched him, his scar. He'd let her. She had wanted, sincerely wanted to help him. In that moment she hadn't just considered the possibility, but had decided to do it. Then fate interceded and thank the heavens it had. He had actually hurt her by his betrayal, by his cool nonchalance during their battle.

_"I thought you had changed!"_

_"I have changed."_

Katara closed her eyes and kicked the nearest rock out of her path. Her temper was heating up again.

_Why am I so angry? _It shouldn't have hurt her that he'd chosen as he did. _It's Zuko, Prince Zuko, son of the Fire Lord! He is still my enemy. I shouldn't be this angry. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't hurt over this. Why did he get to me... How did he manage, with just a few words, to touch my heart?_

Her eyes shot wide open and she ceased all motion when the import of her thoughts finally hit her.

A/N: This is my first fanfic. I will not beg for reviews, but I have no idea whether or not this is worth continuing, so it would be really nice if you could tell me what you think. That being said, I have plenty of inspiration and a willingness to continue with the story if people like it. Hope you do! -Cassie

P.S. Thank you to morning's-broken-angel, Laura, and Cambryn, whose reviews have helped me better my work. Thank you to every one else, too. Your encouragement and compliments help me so much! Thank you.


	2. Shame and Guilt

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

**Chapter 2**

**Shame and Guilt**

_Previously..._

Her eyes shot wide open and she ceased all motion when the import of her thoughts finally hit her.

"No!" She shook her head in denial. _No. He didn't. He couldn't. I hate him! _

Still she did not move. She stood as still as stone, rejecting with everything she had such a notion. In that moment she closed off a part of herself. No one would touch it again.

Sokka woke up warm and comfortable, but he didn't want to be awake yet. He reached over for Katara– she must have moved away from him as he slept_– _so he could run his fingers through her hair. He thought she might like to wake up that way. When he did find her hair, he was still half asleep and didn't notice that somehow it had become a lot shorter and sleeker.

Toph stretched and rolled over in her sleep. Someone was playing with her hair. She smiled. She absolutely _loved_ it when people played with her hair like this, when they didn't try to do anything to it, no pulling or combing, but simply were running their fingers through for the pleasure of it. She just usually didn't let them; it was far too girly and stereotypical for her to let people know she liked it. And with that thought she reached out with catlike reflexes and grabbed Sokka's hand as he reached toward her hair once more.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked in just the right tone to clear Sokka's mind of its remaining slumber.

"Huh?" he said, as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He looked down and saw that Toph was the only one next to him. He'd been playing with _her_ hair. He blushed. That was a really intimate gesture. It was okay to do that for Katara when she was upset because they were related, but with Toph he'd just overstepped his boundaries in a big way.

"Woah, I'm sorry Toph. I started to wake up and I had been doing that to Katara's hair when I fell asleep. I guess I just wasn't– Hey, where is Katara?" he asked, boundary forgotten.

"I'm not sure. You don't see her anywhere around?"

"No. She's gone."

"I'm sure she's alright, Sokka. She probably just wanted to be alone for a little while," she said as she slid down Appa's tail. "It's a good sign, really. She trusted enough to leave Aang with us. That's an improvement. Let's give her some time before we panic, okay? I mean, it's not like someone would have come in here and taken just her."

"Yeah, you're right," Sokka said as he joined her on the ground. He looked back at Aang. He was still breathing peacefully.

_Please. Get better soon..._ _We need you._

Zuko looked out his window at the beautiful sunrise. He breathed deeply as the soft rays warmed his face. It was a good waking. He stepped back into the room and sat down on his mat to meditate.

_Breathe in... Breathe out... In... Out... ... ... ... ... ... "How dare you?!"_

He scowled and concentrated harder.

_In... Out... ... ... In... Out... ... ... ... "I thought you had changed!"_

His shoulders tensed and his heartbeat quickened. He concentrated harder.

_In... Out... In... Ou– "Maybe you could be free of it... I don't know if it would work, but..."_

He let out a frustrated growl and jumped to his feet. He began pacing the room, glaring at everything. He hadn't been able to meditate for days. The peace he had gone through so much to achieve was gone. Inside he was in constant turmoil. His mind refused to be at peace with himself. He was exhausted from lack of sleep. It was the first chance he'd had to sleep in a proper bed in ages, yet every time his head hit the pillow he was filled with a deep sense of regret and shame. He couldn't stand himself, and yet...

_Why is it wrong to want to be loved by my father, to want acceptance and honor? Why is it that the thought of returning home fills me with guilt and dread, rather than excitement and... longing?_

_...longing..._

Oh, his heart was longing for something, but it wasn't home. He longed to wake up in a small apartment above The Jasmine Dragon. He longed to smell good tea in the morning, to sit and speak with Uncle in the evening after a full day's work. He longed to fall asleep without that image in his mind to haunt him. The look on her face when she fought him... Why did it bother him so much that she hated him now?

_She hated me before... It didn't bother me then; why should it now? ..._

_You never really saw her before, _a voice said in his head. _She never mattered because she was little more than a tool to get to the Avatar. She could be manipulated, used to best advantage, and discarded if necessary, but now... _

Just the thought of those words rubbed him the wrong way. He _had_ seen her now. He'd seen her tears for her mother– a hurt he knew all too well. He'd felt her too, her compassion. It stretched even to the face of her enemies. She had gone from raging one moment to wanting to help him the next. He reached up to his scar. _She touched me... _She wasn't the first girl to try, but she was the first he had allowed to, and didn't that say something in and of itself?

He sighed, scowling at the beautiful dawn that he couldn't enjoy, then turned away from it. There were some things he needed to look into...

"You're back," Sokka said as he finished doling out the food. They were having fish.

"I'm back," she said.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. A nice bath helps." Sokka nodded as he handed her her share.

"Thank you, Sokka," she said, taking it gratefully. She turned and walked over to Appa's tail. Taking his hand, she could feel that Aang was okay. He hadn't eaten, yet he didn't grown thinner or weaker. She didn't understand it.

"The sooner we get to the guru, the better."

"We'll leave as soon as everyone's eaten," Sokka said.

Katara heard him enter into conversation with Toph. The Earth King and Basco sat off to the side and seemed to be content there. She took a seat at the bottom of Appa's tail. She ate, but didn't really taste anything. Her mind kept jumping back to her absurd thoughts of earlier.

_As if I'd let him get to me... He is my enemy. I was right to picture him when I thought of the Fire Nation. I expect nothing from him. He can't touch me..._

_Then why does it hurt, Katara? _said a voice in her head. _Why does it hurt your heart that he could so quickly go from the man you wanted to help so badly to being your enemy again._

_He was always my enemy. He tricked me. He wanted to weaken me!_

_And it worked, didn't it... _said the voice._ That's why you hurt. That's why you're so angry. That's why you hate him so fiercely. That is why you feel guilty. You still want to help the man who understood your pain, the man who apologized for the hurt his people caused you, though he had no part in it. That is your secret shame, the source of your heartache. _

"No!" she said forcefully, before she realized she'd spoken aloud. Sokka gave her a look. Toph turned her head toward her. The King was openly staring and Basco cocked his head to the side as if in question.

_It's not! I don't!_ _I don't feel that way!_ she thought as she got up and threw the rest of her barely touched food to Basco, who ate it gratefully.

She grabbed the water skins and headed back to the stream. She didn't allow herself the luxury of thought, but simply moved and focused on her breathing. When she reached the stream she took the time to do some difficult bending– as difficult as she could make it with such a small stream. After about a half hour she was tired, sweaty, and had let loose only about half of her frustration, but it didn't matter. She needed to get back to camp so they could leave. They should reach the guru by nightfall.

When she returned she didn't say anything to anyone. They didn't bother her either. She immediately set to work on pulling Aang up Appa's back so that he could rest on his head. Appa helped, slowly lifting his tail so that she could just gently direct him. Sokka climbed up and helped her when Appa no longer could. Once Aang was in position, she looked back and saw that the others had climbed up too.

"Are we ready to go?" she asked, looking to Sokka, who nodded in return.

"Alright then. Yip yip!"

_Meanwhile, on a ship sailing to the Fire Nation..._

Zuko walked down a steel corridor. His new Fire Nation uniform felt uncomfortable, even foreign, after so long without it. He had not cut his hair as had been suggested to him. There was a symbolism to his appearance that didn't escape him.

He turned left, down another corridor and a flight of stairs. They led to a private sitting room where Azula was relaxing with Ty Lee and Mai. She hadn't summoned him to her, but he'd been invited to join them. He wasn't stupid enough to refuse, though he was unsure of her intentions. Something was off. She was being encouraging, supportive, even kind– everything Azula wasn't. It made him uneasy. She could be planning anything...

_Azula always lies... _

But she seemed so sincere, more so than any time she had ever lied to him before.

_Azula **always** lies..._

He walked silently through the door into the inner chamber of the room. The girls were around a corner and didn't notice his approach. He had no desire to alert them to his presence just yet, though he didn't know why. She wasn't stupid enough to discuss anything worth hearing with them in a place they could so easily be overheard.

"No, none at all. He doesn't even talk to the guards anymore. He doesn't eat. Your Highness, he's not drinking any tea."

"What? Not even the tea I sent down for him?" asked Azula

"Honestly, majesty. He smelled that tea, but didn't drink it. He just lays there, meditates, or stares out the window. What are your wishes, Highness?"

"Leave him. I will pay him a visit later."

Zuko turned around and walked back down the hall he'd just come from. He followed the stairs down to the next floor and took another left. He'd reached the detaining cells that were for the important prisoners. The hall was lined with indentations where the doors were, so he couldn't actually tell anything just by looking.

_I know you're here somewhere..._

He looked through the food hole in each of the doors. When he reached the second to last door on the right-hand side he knew that he'd found him before he even opened the tiny door to the inside. There was a full tea set sitting on a table beside the door.

Zuko let out a breath. Suddenly, his stomach was in knots. He wasn't sure what had compelled him to come here, but he had this feeling...

"Uncle?" he asked as he opened the little window. What he saw horrified him.

a/n: So, I'm sorry to throw a cliffhanger at you so soon, but it was what came to me. I warn you, I hate reading a cliffhanger, but I write them far more often than I mean to. You have been warned. Thanks so much to those who have reviewed for me. You made me so happy! Cassie


	3. To Kun Maeta

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

**Chapter 3**

**To Kun Maeta**

Zuko's heart constricted and his mind was reeling. Through the small window he could clearly see into the room that was indeed his uncle's, but Zuko didn't see the healthy, strong Uncle Iroh he'd watched being led out of the Crystal Catacombs. This was a man beaten and bloody, his body broken. He lay so still. A cold sweat broke out on Zuko's body. For a moment, he thought...

"Uncle! Uncle, can you hear me!?"

Within the room Iroh turned his head ever so slightly. His eyes made the slow journey from the ceiling to the door. He couldn't open his left and the vision in his right was blurred, so he couldn't really see, but he knew that voice.

"Zuko..." he rasped.

Zuko pressed his hands against the cold, metallic door, perhaps in an instinctual attempt to get closer to his uncle. His chest was painfully tight. His uncle, the only being in this world that truly cared for him, was laying there motionless and in pain. His legs were swollen and didn't look right. The only arm Zuko could see was discolored and lay at an odd angle. His breaths were shallow and ragged, now that Zuko could see his chest moving at all. Though his face was caked with dried blood, that wasn't the worst. What affected him the most to see his uncle's eyes. The left was badly bruised and swollen shut. There was a cut that continued to bleed above the eyebrow. His right eye was puffy and bruised as well, but it was able to open halfway. The eye itself was filled with blood, turning it red.

His heart was racing. _How long has he been like this?_ Bloodlust consumed him. He wanted to scream, to tear, to fight and kill whomever had done this to him. He wanted to batter down the door with his bare hands and bring his uncle somewhere safe, somewhere far away from her and these people. There were marks on Iroh's wrists and feet. He'd been bound when they'd beaten him. _The cowards!_ They would never have done this without her consent. Azula.His rage consumed him... and the guilt...

_**Azula always lies...**_

But she hadn't lied, had she? No, she'd left it all up to him. She'd said exactly what she knew he wanted to hear and he'd played right into her hands. This was his fault– all of it. They could have escaped. He could have chosen his uncle.

"_You have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good..."_

In that moment, Zuko realized he'd chosen wrong. It was what his heart had been telling him all along, but he hadn't wanted to see it. Why was it that when it came to the most important things, he always made the wrong choice?

"Uncle, I'll get you out of here. I promise."

He placed his hand over the lock and was about to melt it through. His fury would make him stronger. The door would be able to open and he could... what? _I can't move him like this. _He stood there, hand hovering over the lock.

"_And then what!? You never think these things through."_

_If I do this now, this way, then I will have no way to get him out, no way to escape._ _We're on a ship. There's no where to go on a ship. I need a plan. But he's hurt so badly... _He hissed in frustration and his heart ached for his uncle.

"Uncle, I will come back for you– I promise! I'll get you out of here." _I'm so sorry..._

* * *

Katara didn't awaken until long after the sun had risen in the sky the next day. Aang was safe with the guru. Appa was in his natural habitat and each of the weary travelers had been given their own room. Feeling her worries lift even as the guru spoke with her, Katara had been able to fall into an easy sleep for the first time in what felt like ages.

The guru informed her that she had indeed been able to heal Aang's body. However, he nearly died in the Avatar state when he'd been hit. That was causing complications in his spirit. When she'd started to feel the telltale signs of panic, the guru explained that it wasn't as bad as it sounded. Aang was strong and would be able to pull through it. "_He is the Avatar, after all." _It would simply take time. He had been stirring in his sleep when they'd arrived– a sure sign of his recuperation. And so, a reassured and bone tired Katara had fallen asleep peacefully.

"Good morning, Katara," the guru said without opening his eyes. He'd been meditating and she had approached silently, not wanting to disturb him. Before she had the chance to ask, he answered the question she'd come for. "He is well. His aura grows stronger with each passing moment. He should awaken within the next day or two. You have done well."

Her heart warmed with the knowledge that Aang was recovering and the guru's praise reassured her. When Aang hadn't awoken since they'd left Ba Sing Se she'd begun to question herself.

"Thank you, Master guru," she said as she bowed to him and turned to find the others.

Katara wandered aimlessly around until she came to a hall that had many stone columns in place of the eastern wall. The sun shone brightly into the room, which was filled with beautiful plants that had obviously thrived in the abandoned hall. There were small flowers on the vines that covered the stone pillars: oranges, pinks, purples and blues. Katara felt that many a sunrise with those same colors had been watched from this hall. The stillness spoke of serenity rather than the haunting quiet one found at most of the other places formerly inhabited by the air nomads. This place made you believe in eternity. It was here that she found Sokka and Toph. Though Toph couldn't see the beauty, she could still feel the spirituality there.

Katara joined them standing by the columns. Closing her eyes, she lifted her face to the sun and let it bathe her in soft comfort as she breathed in the sweet perfumes of the flowers. She opened her eyes to the view before her and her breath caught. All she could see over the edge were clouds. She was looking into the heavens and it was so beautiful. She was filled with awe... and an overwhelming sadness. In her heart she knew that this place, what she felt as she stood there, represented all that the air nomads stood for. This way of life was gone, a mere memory in the few who had seen and the one who had lived. Tears formed in her eyes and silently ran down her cheeks as she realized the weight of the burden Aang bore. When he was gone, this world would fall into history.

She felt a hand take hers and another rest on her shoulder. She didn't need to look to see that they had joined her. They too had felt the majestic wonder of this place. They too mourned the terrible loss the world had suffered when the air nomads had died. They stayed like that for a long while.

"The guru said Aang should wake up in a day or two," Katara said as they gathered berries later that evening.

"I knew he was going to be fine," Toph said.

"As if you'd let anything happen to him, Katara," Sokka scoffed.

Katara blanched as her mind instantly flew back to the moment when Aang had been hit by the lightning, when she'd watched him fall. Toph made a small rock pelt Sokka in the back of the head and gave him a dirty look. Sokka rubbed the sore spot and complained loudly, while Toph abruptly changed the subject.

"Have either of you seen the king or Basco since last night?"

"I saw them this morning. They were playing a game over by the air pits," Sokka told them.

"It's good to see them together and happy," Katara said quietly. "It gives me hope."

"I know what you mean," Toph replied.

"So where are we going to go next?" Sokka asked.

"Probably somewhere low key where we can work for a little while. We'll need to get money for supplies and Aang will need to rest for some time yet," Katara said.

"Yeah. We need to buy new sleeping bags, cookware, supplies to make a saddle for Appa. The list goes on. It could take weeks to earn that kind of money."

"What kind of work are we talking about?" asked Toph.

"Whatever we can find," Sokka said. "There's a mural in one of the rooms nearby. It's a map and it looked fairly accurate. We should go check it out. Are you guys done with the berries?"

"Yeah, I've had about as many berries as I can handle," said Toph. Katara agreed.

* * *

That night Zuko paced around his room. Even the roaring fire brought him no comfort. It was late and he should have been sleeping, but there would be no rest for him this night. Forming a plan, he stripped of his Fire Nation clothes and dressed completely in black. He slipped out of his room and down to his uncle's cell stealthily. There was only the night watchman and he slept in a chair at the end of the hall. He reached into the small bag he carried on his back. Pulling out some incense he had bought in Ba Sing Se, he lit it and set it near the man. It was made of a rare plant that induces sleep. Usually it was only used by healers when they had to do something particularly painful. He waited until the watchman's breathing grew deeper and more relaxed. When his arms, which had been crossed, slackened and fell to his sides Zuko knew he could proceed.

He walked up to the man, no longer needing to be silent, and pulled a large black key from a ring on his belt. Taking the key, he moved to his uncle's door and let himself in as quietly as possible. Once inside, he shut the door again and set down his pack. His uncle wasn't moving, but his breathing was better than earlier. Zuko approached cautiously, afraid, though he knew not why. When he stood beside the bed he could only look down with his emotions– fear, anger, regret, shame, pain, sorrow– all muddled inside him at what had been done. Reaching out his hand, he carefully placed it on Iroh's shoulder.

"Uncle. Uncle, wake up. It's me. It's Zuko."

Iroh jerked and moved as if he would attack whomever had come to him, but his broken body wouldn't allow it. Zuko could only think of a caged animal, terrified and forced to defend itself. The pain surged in his chest; his emotions were drowning him.

"Uncle, it's Zuko," he said as he gently covered Iroh's hand with his available one.

"Zuko?"

"Yes, Uncle. I've brought you some food and tea. I've got something to help with the pain." He retrieved his pack and withdrew from it the stew and tea. He'd made certain they stayed warm. At the smell of the food Iroh's stomach rumbled loudly and he let out a whimper. Zuko's heart constricted painfully in his chest.

"She's been trying to poison me. I can't trust the food," he said. Zuko frowned in anger, but quickly blanked his face again.

"I've brought you food, Uncle. This is safe."

He knelt down by the bed and began the slow and difficult process of feeding his uncle. Iroh was able to chew the food just fine and Zuko had brought plenty so that he could eat his fill. When Iroh had finished nearly all the stew, Zuko brought out the special tea.

"Uncle, this is a special kind of tea. It won't taste as good as the tea you're used to, but it will take away some of your pain. I need you to drink it."

Iroh gave a small nod and obediently drank the tea. Zuko was certain it tasted something similar to sewer water that had been baked in the sun and then had mud mixed into it. Iroh didn't utter a single sound of protest. When he finished the horrible brew Zuko put the rest of his things away and sat on the floor by the bed. He'd thought Iroh had fallen asleep, until:

"Thank you," he said as he finally fell into a deep and much needed slumber, leaving behind a brokenhearted Zuko.

"_Thank you."_

The words echoed in his head. After everything that had happened... how could he thank him? The debt he owed his uncle would never be repaid and still... _"Thank you."_

His eyes began to burn and he had to fight so hard to stop the tears from falling. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't sit by as though he were helpless and watch as his uncle was starved to death. He would act. He would protect him and find a way to get them both out of there._ If the brother of the Fire Lord could be treated this way, then how much worse it could be for the son that brings shame upon his father. _

For the first time, Zuko did not feel the familiar shame and disgrace that always accompanied that memory. Perhaps he had just grown used to the memory. It was a part of his past, a part of him. Or perhaps it was that he was finally beginning to accept who he was. He was, in fact, the son of Fire Lord Ozai, but that was not all. He was also Zuko, nephew of Iroh. He was his own person and he had the right and the opportunity to make of his life what he pleased.

"_Look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want..."_

Zuko stood and collected the things from the corner of the room. With one last glance to his uncle, he departed. He locked the door, returned the key to the guard, removed the incense, and went to the deck for some much needed fresh air.

Keeping to the shadows, he wandered the deck. It would be suspicious, to say the least, for him to be seen dressed entirely in black at this time of night. He neared the rail on the starboard side in a section that was unlit by the many lamps that hung above. Zuko took a moment to clear his mind as he breathed deeply of the fresh night air.

_What am I going to do? Azula said she didn't want to make port until we reach home. That'll take weeks at the least. It's too long. _

Slowly, he made his way toward the helm. There was a map he wanted to look at. The course would surely be charted on it and he needed to know where they were at the moment anyway. He was certain they hadn't passed the Earth Kingdom yet. He paused as he heard two watchmen approaching. Ducking into the shadows, he made certain he wasn't seen.

"I can't believe my luck," said the first soldier.

"What are you talking about? You haven't had an unlucky day in your life," replied the second.

"Perhaps," the first replied with a jovial laugh, "But, you have to admit, this exceeds the norm. I haven't seen Siri in six months and it was going to be a lot longer. Now, out of nowhere, we have an unscheduled stop? And in Kun Maeta? The odds of that happening, especially with the Princess so set against any stops at all, are slim to none. But not only do we have a stop, its Kun Maeta!" He sighed with longing.

"I guess I should get used to doing this alone. How far along is she, anyway?"

"Eight and a half months. I'm sorry to abandon you, but when the fates throw something this perfect your way, you don't ask questions. You take the gift and run."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Shang. I may not have a pregnant wife to jump ship for, but I have reason enough to want to go home." He looked out over the sea in the direction of the Earth Kingdom.

"When was the last time you heard from him?"

"My father? It's been three months now."

"And he usually writes every week?"

"Yes."

There was a silence in which they both acknowledged the unspoken. Zuko listened intently from the shadows.

"We should make port by the day after next. When will you leave?"

"When their loading the coal on. When the hands are stocking the cargo deck I'll slip off, make it look like I'm just helping, never come back."

A toll sounded above. It was time for a shift change.

"Well, good luck, Shang. I wish you the best," said the second soldier as he shook hands with the first.

"You too, Hiro. And hey, I'm sure your father's fine." He nodded and they parted ways.

Zuko watched until they'd both disappeared. _Kun Maeta? The day after tomorrow? _

"_But when the fates throw something this perfect your way, you don't ask questions. You take the gift and run." _

_Take the gift and run..._ That was something he could do.

* * *

Katara stared at the brilliantly painted mural that was obviously ancient. It had labels for cities that hadn't existed since near the very beginning of the war. They had agreed that they would stay along the coast of the Earth Kingdom. The farther away from Ba Sing Se, the better. With the help of Toph and their own experiences, they were able to distinguish which cities were which. Sokka had been right, apart from one or two changes and the differences of names, the map was very accurate.

"So what about Bashutu?" asked Katara.

"That was taken over by Fire Nation troops nearly thirty years ago," replied Toph. "They never left. A lot of the men married local women and had families. Race isn't a big deal there, but I guarantee they all know what we look like and would turn us over in a second."

"Well, that's a no, then," said Sokka.

"Kun Ta Mae? That's farther away, but it looks bigger, too. Probably less likely to be spotted."

"And there's more work in bigger cities," Sokka chipped in.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. It's position on the water helped it expand quickly, but the people there still value kindness."

"That's a nice feature," Sokka said.

"Yeah. Fire Nation ships dock there on occasion– Bashutu's trade goes through there– but I don't think it would be a problem and there's enough diversity that no one looks twice at anyone wearing Earth Kingdom or Fire Nation clothes. The king and I are fine there, all we have to do is stop somewhere and buy some clothes in a smaller city for the two of you and Aang and we'll be fine."

"That sounds like a good plan to me," said Katara.

"Me too," said Sokka.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention: the town was renamed when the Fire Nation went through that region. It's called Kun Maeta now."

a/n: I totally made up the names of both the places and new characters mentioned in here. They have no meaning, or if they do it's a fluke. I was just trying to get something that sounded right. Oh, and reviews make my day better– even when they're only a few words, even when they're just constructive criticism. They make me happy. –Cassie


	4. Getting Underway

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

**Chapter 4**

**Getting Underway**

Shang turned down the long corridor toward the final staircase with his mind running a mile a minute. _What could the Prince possibly want to do with me? _Climbing the stairs, he was finally before the door. _Prince Zuko's private chambers... _A lead weight was steadily descending into the pit of his stomach. For a moment, one brief moment, he wondered if somehow he'd been overheard. Perhaps Princess Azula would leave the punishment to him. Clearing his mind of thoughts that wouldn't help him get through whatever was about to happen, he knocked on the door and entered.

Hiro stood facing the Fire Lord's long lost son. Well, lost was a relative term, if half the stories were to be believed. He hadn't been standing there long when there was a second knock on the door and Shang was admitted. As the Prince sat in a chair before the fire he gestured to two others. Sharing a look, the two soldiers took the seats and waited for what was to come.

"I'm going to come straight to the point. Do you know the penalty for a Fire Nation soldier who deserts the military?" he said looking at Shang. "Or a soldier that was privy to the information, but did nothing to stop said soldier from deserting?" He turned his eyes to Hiro. Both men paled. They were both thinking of a life in prison. Neither said a word.

"I'm glad we're all in accord. Now, I have need of two soldiers who would be willing to stay in Kun Maeta rather than returning to the Fire Nation," Zuko said, looking between the two of them. He gave them a moment to understand the possible implications of his statement.

"I would have to be able to depend upon their silence. They would be required to help me transport a large crate into the city. After assisting me in my endeavor I would then release them to go on their way. The only person who knew the names of said soldiers, the only person with their files," he said, gesturing to two files upon the table to his left, "would not view them as deserters. They would be free to return to a father or a pregnant wife without any negative repercussions."

Having said his piece, Zuko sat back and allowed them the opportunity to think over his proposal.

"Unfortunately gentlemen, I'll need an answer before you leave this room, so that I know how to proceed."

The two men looked at one another. He was offering them an out– both of them– and if they didn't take it, gray cells and iron bars were all they had to look forward to. Was there actually a choice to be made?

"What assurance can you offer us that we will not be punished for helping you?" Hiro asked.

"I will watch from a reasonable distance, so you will not be seen with me. This will eliminate any suspicion when you join the others with their crates. The only difference is that when you deliver the crate to the address I will give you, you will stay there until I meet with you later that night, rather than rejoining the crew for our departure. Your names will not be on the list of crew members who will be unloading, so when they check to be certain everyone has returned no one will think of you. They will also be in a hurry, because we all know the Princess isn't pleased with this stop. I have overlooked nothing. If you agree to help me you will be free men by tomorrow night."

Shang and Hiro were having a difficult time thinking of reasons that they shouldn't do it. The Prince had obviously thought things through. Their superiors didn't even know them by name yet– they'd only been on the ship for two days. He guaranteed their anonymity and was offering a way out. They weren't stupid men. They knew that whatever he was planning was sure to put her royal highness in a foul temper, but technically, they didn't really have a choice.

"I'll do it," said Shang.

"As will I," Hiro said.

"Good," Zuko replied as he stood. He moved to the mantle and picked up two identical pieces of parchment and a map. Handing them to the men and laying the map out on the table, he said "Memorize this. Do not read it allowed. Never repeat it. Never write it down."

Shang and Hiro looked at the papers and set to work memorizing the address. The city of Kun Maeta was divided into three sections: the northwestern section, the southeastern section, and the ports all along the southern edge of the city. The address was for a small lodge on the northern edge of the southeastern section. _The Slumbering Tiger_ was relatively well known, especially to someone who had spent as much time in Kun Maeta as Shang had. He knew how to get there, which would make the task that much easier. He nodded and handed the paper back to Zuko just as Hiro did the same. Zuko threw the parchment into the grate and watched them burn.

"Good. The crate will be at this point here," he said, showing them on the map of the ship, "at six o'clock. It cannot be dropped. It cannot be overly jostled. You will treat it with the utmost care. If what is in there breaks, you will regret it. Am I understood?"

The men nodded in response.

"Again, you do not speak of this to anyone. If we have reached an understanding, then you are free to go." Standing with them, he gestured to the door.

Hiro and Shang departed. They shared a look. Both of them were worried, but they also wanted to go home and it was plain to see in their eyes. They wanted to be with their families, needed to be with them. The Prince hadn't needed to resort to blackmail, though it was almost reassuring that he had. He seemed to have thought of everything. Shang was grateful that he seemed to need their help, otherwise who knew what would have happened to them.

"I'll see you tonight," said Shang.

"Yeah, see you at ten." And with that they were gone.

Back in the room, Zuko stared into the fire. He'd given the illusion of self-assurance, of being completely in control. When in actuality, his entire plan had been riding on those two soldiers and he didn't have time to come up with a new one. He'd listened to them as they walked off. He'd heard their longing for home the previous night. _I know what longing does to a man._ But he wouldn't think of that.

He sat back down in his chair. Everything else that needed to be done would be done that night after the ship went to sleep, so he had time to sit and rest. He needed it. Sleepless nights were starting to get to him. He leaned back in the chair, resting his head and closing his eyes. Immediately, a pair of blue eyes spitting fire in their rage appeared before his own. He couldn't get her face out of his head.

_I wonder what she's doing right now. I wonder if she's still taking care of the Avatar, or if he healed instantly. _Because thoughts of the Avatar caused unpleasant feelings to rise, he forced himself to think about her instead. It wasn't a difficult task, since her eyes kept staring daggers, or ice crystals if you'd prefer, at him every time he closed his eyes.

_I wish I could remember your name. _Having felt both her temper and her comfort, he felt that it was fitting, but couldn't for the life of him remember what it was. _Katrina, no that's all wrong. It's not even Water Tribe. Kaamra, no, no. It starts with a K... doesn't it? _Sighing in frustration, he leaned forward and cradled his head in his hands. _It's a foolish pursuit, anyway. Why should I care what her name is? _But still he searched his mind. He went back to all the times they'd been near each other, when suddenly–

_Katara! _

His eyes shot open, but in the excitement of his discovery he didn't see anything before him._ Katara! Your name is Katara. _It was beautiful name, especially considering it was a Water Tribe name, but for some reason that only irritated him. He scowled and stood. _Why are you in my head? I need to focus. I have a mission. That should be my only concern. You're just getting in my way, just as you always do. _Yet he knew he didn't really feel that way, for even as he thought these things, he was still wondering.

_Katara, where are you, and what are you doing right now?_

* * *

"Katara. Katara, wake up."

Katara opened her eyes and blinked the sleep away. It was the guru. He was standing over her. Her mind flew to the worst.

"Is it Aang? Is he alright? What's wrong with him," she asked as she jumped from the bed.

"Katara, Aang is fine. He's just woken up and wanted to see you. I knew you would want to see him too, so I came to get you."

"Aang's awake?"

"Yes."

She stood there a moment as her sleepy mind attempted to gain lucidity. Finally, everything fell into place and she smiled at the guru, who seemed to be glad that she was thinking clearly. _Aang's awake. Aang's awake!_

"Aang's awake!" she screamed to the others, who occupied the rooms around her, as she ran from her room. Though she knew there were innumerable halls, stairs, and passageways between her room and the place where Aang was staying, it felt like no time at all before she stood outside his door. She paused a moment, catching her breath, before opening the door. Inside the room, Aang sat propped up in a small, but comfortable bed. He was surrounded by pillows. There was also an abundance of plants here. The room smelled fresh and soft. It was perfect for comfort.

"Katara," Aang said by way of greeting.

"Aang. Oh, you're awake," she said, rushing to him and throwing her arms around him. She had tears of relief in her eyes as she held him close. "You had me _so _worried. Never do that to me again!"

She heard a soft chuckle in her hair as she felt him hug her back and smiled. He was okay now. She took a deep breath and moved back.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I feel great Katara– a little drained, and extremely hungry, but great," he said. She smiled and hugged him again.

"I'm so glad you're okay."

* * *

Zuko didn't know how he'd managed it, but his uncle was safely loaded into the crate, which now sat at the proper location. It would remain there for the next three hours. The guard that was supposed to be watching his uncle was safely drugged and hidden. He wouldn't be found until morning. The hardest part had been trying to move his uncle from the bed into the crate. Iroh had been able to help a little, but the process was obviously extremely painful for him and if Zuko hadn't had so much on the line he'd have allowed his temper to get the better of him. Seeing him hurt so much and knowing that it was his fault was a constant weight on his chest.

Having ensured Iroh's well being, he returned to his chambers. As he moved around the room he picked out random things to bring with him in the small pack he had ready. It wasn't until they were all on the bed that he realized not a single thing was from the Fire Nation or his time on the ship.

He'd chosen his Earth Kingdom clothes, though he would have access to more elite places and things with the Fire Nation uniform. There was a small tea pot his uncle had especially liked. There were small round stones that were very smooth. He'd collected them from near a pond on the outskirts of Ba Sing Se. The image drawn of himself and his uncle outside of _The Jasmine Dragon_ on its opening day, a blanket of many different shades of green that someone had left for them, a package of teas from their home there, these were the things his heart had chosen as most important to him.

He reached out and rest his hand on the blanket before picking up the picture. They'd been happy there– truly happy. He had felt at home. He had found peace.

"_You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger, and wiser, and freer than you have ever been." _

He had been, but still not enough so. His past had still held sway over him– so much so that he'd abandoned all that he had come to love to regain something he'd never had to begin with. Zuko didn't know if he could fix this, didn't really think he could, but as he packed up his most precious belongings he knew he wouldn't stop trying.

* * *

"He lives!" said Sokka as Aang walked into the room they'd been using as the dining room. Toph smacked.

"Good morning, Aang. How are you feeling," she asked as Sokka rubbed his arm and Katara got up to make sure he didn't need any help. He was able to move around just fine, only leaning on his staff a little. Truly, he was coming along remarkably well considering he'd been unconscious for so long.

"Good morning everyone," he said as Katara gave him a plate. "I feel fine. I'm a little tired– I know, ironic huh– but other than that I feel great. Thank you," he said to Katara as she moved to sit back down. She nodded with a smile. After a few moments of light chatter and eating, Aang let them all know that he was eager to be moving on.

"So, have you decided where we're going next?"

"Actually, we were thinking of Kun Maeta. It's a great place for us to blend in and we could find work relatively easily. What do you think?"

"I think that's a great idea," he said. "We do need money. Is there forest around the city for Appa to stay in?"

Katara and Sokka looked at Toph. They hadn't even thought of that.

"Yeah, there's plenty of trees and whatnot for the big fluff ball to hide in."

"Can we be ready to go by tonight?" The three stared at him.

"Are you crazy? You just woke up. You're not ready for a trip like that."

"Actually," said the guru, "Aang's spirit is restless. It is to be expected that having fought so hard for so long, his spirit would easily bore of this place. He wants to move on to new things and it is understandable. Physically, I see know reason why he can't sit in the saddle as Appa flies–"

"But we don't have a saddle," Sokka rudely interrupted.

"There is a spare that should do quite nicely in one of the towers. I found it shortly after my arrival here."

"Oh," Sokka said as silence followed.

"Any other objections," Aang asked.

"Well, if you're sure, Aang..." Katara said.

"I'm sure. Let's go get that saddle."

a/n: Please review.


	5. Nighttime Adventures

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

**Chapter 5**

**Nighttime Adventures**

Zuko watched from a distance as Shang and Hiro appeared on deck, carrying the large crate. He had given them their last set of instructions earlier. They would be on their own now. He turned his eyes away from them and continued to watch the rest of the crew as they loaded and unloaded the various cargo. For an unscheduled stop, a lot was taking place. He stood there on that balcony overlooking the ship for a long time, long after he'd seen the distant shapes of the two soldiers disappear.

He felt himself empty as he watched. He felt that he was completely separate from this world. This life had once been all he knew. It had been, if not comfortable, at least routine. Yet now he felt that it was all foreign and that he was somehow incapable of walking among them as a fellow part of the whole. He was different. He had always been different. Now that he accepted it, there was some peace to be had in the observing, whereas before he had toiled and fought in his desperate attempt to belong to a world that he was not meant for. Because of whom he was– prince of the Fire Nation– he had not been able to look at himself as anything else, and so had not been able to recognize the good in those very characteristics that made him 'unfit' in the eyes of his father.

His compassion was not weakness. His ability to compromise had not been a fault. His desire to make those he loved happy was not disgraceful. He sighed, watching as the last of the men returned to the deck– well, the last that would be returning. _It is done, then. _

He turned away from the scene below and returned to his room. It looked exactly the same, but he knew it was different, different in a way only he would feel. The life was gone from it. He always kept everything neat and orderly, and so nothing was left out to see. No one coming in here would know that he'd packed and was already in the process of making his departure.

His spirit was growing more and more restless, but it was not yet dark. Walking over to the small window, he stared out as the sun set. He'd have to attend dinner or Azula would be suspicious. After that, he'd get into his life boat and be gone from this place, be gone from her. It was so simple, and yet he did not allow himself to relax. Breathing deeply, he forced his mind to turn to other things.

Before him the gulls were gliding on the wind. They swooped and dove and seemed to float in place. He'd observed the like countless times. Such simple signs of life brought him peace in times of upset. The gulls flew and life continued on.

_What are you doing now, I wonder. Would you enjoy sitting back in the early evening, watching the gulls over the bay as the sun set? ..._

_I think you would..._

* * *

"We'll settle here for the night. It's secluded, there's water and I'm sure I can find food, plus Appa's tired," said Sokka, as he guided Appa down into a stretch of forest near a fair sized town.

"Sounds good to me," said Aang and Toph in unison. Katara smiled.

Aang, who was feeling almost completely recovered, jumped off of Appa and stretched his muscles. He set about collecting firewood as Sokka went in search of dinner and Toph bent herself a fort. The King and Basco, who had been oddly quiet and serene since their departure from the temple, walked quietly about the surrounding terrain. Katara picked up the waterskins as she watched them all. Everything was back to normal. Well, it was as normal a night as this journey had afforded thus far. She'd thought that once Aang had recovered and things had returned to the way they'd always been, that she would feel right again, but she didn't. Her heart still hurt. She felt insecure, almost vulnerable, and she didn't know why. Well... she didn't accept why.

When she came upon a stream, she knelt down beside it and allowed her hand to run through the chilled water. It felt so lovely, rushing around and between her fingers. It was a comfort only a water bender could understand. She filled up the waterskins as twilight faded and the western sky grew black. She looked up at all the beautiful twinkling stars, at the full moon shining down on her. She accepted the comfort of the water and the moon, but even so, she returned to the camp feeling a deep seeded unrest.

The others were enjoying the fruits of Sokka and Aang's work. The meat smelled heavenly and the fire was warm.

"What's bothering you?" Toph asked quietly, pulling her down to sit beside her. The boys were busy talking of other things.

Katara began to sort through the tangled thoughts and feelings inside her, attempting to find an answer. Now that she didn't have the air temple to keep her spellbound or Aang to worry over, her mind returned to the image of a scarless Zuko smiling up at her in delighted wonder. The image both fascinated and terrified her. It was Zuko and the intense confusion he inspired in her that troubled her so much. Try as she might, she couldn't put what happened out of her mind. Looking into the younger girl's expectant face, she was touched by her concern, even as she accepted that she couldn't share this burden with anyone.

"I just feel anxious is all, Toph. I haven't gotten over the scare, I guess," she said. She didn't bother smiling, because Toph would be able to hear that it wasn't in her voice and since she couldn't see it there was no point. Instead, she gently squeezed her hand and rose. "I'll be fine."

Toph followed Katara's movement over toward Appa. When the latter had settled down for the night on the great beast's tail, Toph let out a sigh. "You're lying."

* * *

He was late. He was supposed to have been able to leave a half an hour ago. Azula had detained him at dinner, but he'd made certain to show no signs of his alarm. She also had men watching him, though he wasn't supposed to know that. None of it mattered. Once he escaped, she wouldn't come after him.

He donned his black clothes and listened at the door. They were still there. Locking it as he did every night, he walked to the other side of the room and looked out his window. _Yes! _The rope was still there. He'd tied it out there earlier for just such an occasion. Pulling himself through the window, he held fast to the rope. It wouldn't end well should he fall. He silently scaled the side of the ship and came out on the deck. After deftly untying and winding the rope, he crept the hundred or so feet to the lifeboat that held his pack. It was one of perhaps two that could be lowered by a single man. Within moments he felt the slap of the boat hitting the water and released it from the ship. Fortunately, they had taken longer than expected at the port or his delay could have been disastrous. With one last glance at the window he knew led to his sister's suite, he looked away from the ship and began the long voyage to land.

It took two and a half hours of rowing that boat before he reached the shore. He collapsed on the beach in exhaustion and couldn't move for some time as his chest labored to bring in enough oxygen. Finally, he stood on shaky legs and started walking up the beach. He still had to get all the way through the city. Judging by the lighthouse, it was about six miles to the inn. Though the journey was long, he didn't mind. He felt like he was _doing _something and he wouldn't have to lay awake in his bed tonight.

As Zuko approached the area where the houses grew closer together, he hid behind a rock formation and changed into his Earth Kingdom clothes. When he'd replaced his Fire Nation uniform within the bag, he stood and stretched his muscles. The Earth Kingdom clothes fell nicely on his shoulders and were comfortable. Lifting his pack he climbed up onto the road and followed it into the city. He should reach the inn before dawn.

* * *

The forest had grown too quiet. Most people wouldn't notice such a change, but it woke Aang. Sitting up, he looked around. The sun would rise soon. Something wasn't right. He looked to the left. The king slept leaning against Basco; all was well there. He looked to his right. Toph's feet could be seen sticking out from her fort. He looked to the fire. Sokka lay on a blanket nearby. _They're fine, and Katara... _He climbed around from Appa's side to his tail. She wasn't there, but he could see the outline in the fur from where she'd been sleeping. He glanced around the camp again. _She's not here._

"Katara?" Aang called softly. "Katara, where are you?"

No answer came.

* * *

Nearby, in the village a young girl awoke from a nightmare. To calm herself she moved to the window and allowed the soft breeze to cool her cheeks. Her window looked over the street below and from past nightmares she knew that no one would be out this late at night. She breathed deeply of the night air and willed her fear to go away. She always had the same dream. A woman, barely old enough to warrant the term, was wandering the lands. She was searching for her long lost husband, but she would never find him, for he had died in the war. It was her spirit that wandered across all of the world, ever searching, but never finding. She, too, had died on that same fateful night. It was said that the young woman's curse would be broken by a child, a child brave enough to reach out to her and tell her that her husband had moved on so that she too could.

The young girl knew that her 'big sister' had only told the story to frighten her, that it wasn't real, but deep inside her little heart she knew that soon someone truly was going to come wandering in the night and they would need her help. She just hadn't realized that it would be _this _night.

There on the street below someone suddenly appeared. The girl's eyes grew wide as her hand flew to cover her mouth, lest she scream. It was a young woman, but she didn't seem well. Something was wrong with her. It was so like the story that the little girl began to tremble. Below her, she watched as the young woman stumbled. It was like she didn't know where she was going, like she was aimlessly... wandering. Her little heart started to race, even as her mind accepted that _this_ was the person she'd been waiting for.

Turning around, she crept out of her room and down the stairs. She had to jump the third one from the bottom; it squeaked. Quietly, she snuck past the door at the end of the hall and moved to the front of the house. Opening the door, she rushed out onto the street and looked back to where the lady had been. At first, she didn't see her and her fears of ghosts and wandering spirits redoubled, but then her little eyes caught the movement of something farther down the lane. It was her. She took off running and didn't stop until she reached the young woman.

The first thing she noticed was her hair. It was brown and curly, and there was so much of it. She also had little bits of metal on her bangs. Her skin was dark and her clothes were blue. She'd never seen anyone like this woman. Looking up at her face, she realized that the lady's eyes weren't open. This turn of events confused the little girl greatly. _Maybe she's too tired to keep her eyes open anymore. _Gathering her courage, she tugged on her sleeve.

The woman stopped moving altogether and turned toward the child. She didn't open her eyes, but it was like she could see her without them. The little girl began to tremble and wondered if perhaps this woman was so strange, because she was, in fact, the spirit from so long ago. But then the woman mumbled something under her breath. It was the name of a man... but she was trying to get away from him, not find him. It sounded like the lady was asleep and having a nightmare. She knew all too well the terrors of the night and, feeling reassured, took the woman's hand and led her back home. On the way, she decided that– just in case– she'd say it.

"You know, your husband... he died in the war. He's moved on to the next life and he's waiting for you there," she whispered, looking up at the pretty face. The woman scowled and reached up to touch a necklace.

"This was a gift from my mother, not a man. I'm not married," she mumbled.

The little girl didn't know what the necklace had to do with having a husband, but she was glad to know that she wasn't leading a ghost to her bed.

* * *

Zuko turned the last corner and found himself looking up at the old wooden sign of _The Slumbering Tiger._ The sky to the east was just starting to move from ebony to the rich blues of the predawn hour. He entered through the front door and was surprised to find that someone was actually awake and at the desk. He moved forward nodding to the man by way of greeting.

"My name is Li. I arranged for a room for the next several days and had a large crate delivered to it yesterday afternoon."

"Yes, sir. Room four is yours. The crate's in there. Your friends are in room three," he said as he wrote something down in his records. Turning around, he opened a cabinet and retrieved a key. "Here you are sir, enjoy your night, what's left of it."

"Thank you. I will."

He moved through a set of oak doors and down a long corridor. His room was the last on this floor. After unlocking the door, he dropped his pack on the dresser. Rifling through it, he found the small crowbar he'd packed for just this moment. He set to work immediately on the crate.

"Uncle, it's me, Zuko. We got away with it. We escaped. You'll be out of here in a second," he said as he wrenched up the last of the nails. Removing the cover, he looked down on his uncle and chuckled. He was still asleep, even through all the racket he'd just made opening the stupid crate. He'd thought that Iroh would want to be out of there as soon as possible, but apparently he was comfortable at the moment. Then again, he had given him a considerable amount of that tea earlier...

"Uncle," he said, shaking his shoulder. "Wake up so I can get you into a proper bed."

Iroh only grunted in his sleep and flicked at the annoyance on his shoulder. This time Zuko laughed outright. Oh, well. They were safe now. He could sleep in the crate if he wanted to. Opening the door, he walked across the hall and knocked loudly. Once he went to sleep he wouldn't be getting up for a while. Shang answered the door, looking more alert than one would expect of a man who's just awoken.

"Thank you. Here are your files. You're free to go whenever," he said, but Shang was staring at him strangely. He looked down and realized it was his clothing that had distracted the man. He squared his shoulders and looked him in the eye. "Is there a problem, Shang?" The sound of his first name from the prince's mouth seemed to snap him out of his revery.

"No, sir. Thank you, sir. We'll be out of your way by breakfast."

Zuko gave him a curt nod in response. He turned and walked back to his room, closing the door before Shang had even turned away from him. He looked at himself in the mirror and immediately registered several important differences. First, in these clothes he didn't look like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked relaxed, even after such a strenuous and difficult night. Second, they fit him nicely, comfortably. The Fire Nation uniform was rigid and hard. It was meant to be a visual representation of the strength of the Fire Nation. These simple peasants' clothes were freer and promoted comfort. He looked like a different person. They only knew him as Prince of the Fire Nation. Shang had just witnessed Zuko, comfortable and satisfied with a plan well executed. He shook his head and looked away from the mirror. Peering into the crate, he could see that his uncle was just fine. With a smile playing at the corner of his mouth, he locked the door, stripped, and climbed into the bed closest to the door.

"Goodnight Uncle."

* * *

Katara woke up with the sun in her eyes and a lot of noise coming from somewhere downstairs. That wasn't what concerned her. It was the small form that was cuddled against her side. Her eyes shot open and she looked down. There lay the most adorable little girl she'd ever seen. She was cuddled up close to her and Katara held her in her arms. Her little head was covered in long, sleek black hair that obviously fell to her waist or lower. She had a cute little button nose and a tiny little mouth with lips that bright pink shade only a little girl can achieve. Katara felt all her fear and troubles dissolve as though they had never been as she lay watching this little girl sleep. In that moment it did not matter that she knew nothing about her or that she had no idea how she had come to be here. She loved her, with all her heart she loved her.

As she lay quietly watching, the little girl's breathing pattern changed and she started to stir. When her eyes blinked open she smiled up at Katara.

"Good, you're still here," she said as she sat up straight and rubbed her eyes. "I was afraid I'd wake up and you would have vanished or moved on or something. I'm Chiyo. What's your name?"

"I'm Katara."

"Wow. That's a pretty name."

Her eyes were gold. They shown out of her face with such emotion and light. It was like sunshine. But that gold, it was Fire Nation...

a/n: I apologize for taking so long to write this chapter. I had a little trouble deciding what I wanted to do. Thank you for all the reviews. Keep them coming. I don't have a beta so, though I do a lot of self editing, I am relying on you guys to tell me what you think. Thank you all so much! -C


	6. The Orphanage

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

a/n: Yu Ni is pronounced "you knee", complete with space and appropriate pause for said space.

**Chapter 6**

**The Orphanage**

"Sokka, wake up!" Aang shouted as he glided back into camp.

"I don' wanna," Sokka mumbled, more asleep than awake.

"Sokka, Katara's missing. I've looked everywhere for her. She's not here and she's not in the surrounding area," Aang said, trying to curb his impatience. Sokka wasn't making it easy.

"What are you talking about, Aang," Sokka asked as he rolled over and stretched.

"Katara's gone!" Aang shouted in response, his patience snapping. "We have to find her. I've been searching for nearly a half hour. I think she may have gone to the village, but from what I could see, there's Fire Nation there. She could be in danger." Turning, Aang yelled across the camp.

"Toph!"

"I'm coming, twinkle toes. Like anyone could sleep through that racket."

* * *

"Chiyo... Where am I?" Katara asked, as a trickle of apprehension slithered down her spine. _Fire Nation eyes..._

"You're in my room," the little girl responded, as though the question was a bit ridiculous.

"Yes, sweetie, but what town do you live in and who are your parents?"

The little girl's eyes dimmed. She looked away from Katara and down at the sheets, her little shoulders slumping.

"I don't have a papa and my mama died," she said. Her little voice quivered and the tears could be heard in each word. Katara's heart broke and she instinctively gathered the little girl close.

"I'm sorry, Chiyo. I'm so sorry," she said, as the little girl cried into her chest. "I lost my mother too."

"You did?" Chiyo asked, sniffing.

Katara nodded, her own eyes stinging.

"Does your heart ever stop hurting?"

She thought about lying, about telling her that one day she would forget the pain, but found that she could not. Honesty wouldn't soothe as much right now, but was the only real choice.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "but the pain eases with time and you know: she's always watching over you, making sure you're safe. I'm sure your mother loved you very, very much, Chiyo."

"She did," the little girl said with an enthusiastic nod to confirm it. "You're real nice, Katara. I bet your Mama loved you, too."

"She did, Chiyo. She did."

Katara rubbed soothing circles on the little girl's back. It was as much a comfort to herself as it was for Chiyo. She moved to running her fingers through the long, smooth hair after a few minutes. _Such a beautiful child... My heart breaks for you, little Chiyo._

"Katara?" Chiyo asked. Her little mind had been thinking of many things in the comfort of loving arms. She wondered who had scared her new friend enough that she would run from them even in her dreams.

"Yes?"

"Who's Zuko?"

Katara's hand stilled in the little girl's hair. Her heart jumped and her stomach dropped.

"A boy. Why do you ask?"

"Last night I found you wandering in the street," she said, looking up at Katara's face. "I think you were asleep, because you didn't open your eyes much and you were acting like you were stuck in a nightmare. You kept trying to get away from someone called Zuko."

_I was sleepwalking?... Well,_ she thought, looking around, _that certainly explains a lot._

"I must have been sleepwalking, honey. People do that sometimes when they're very worried about something. I must have come a long way to get here..."

"What are you worried about Katara?"

"A boy."

"Zuko?" she asked, as she reached up to play with Katara's necklace.

"Yes, but let's not talk about that, okay? Why don't you show me how to leave, so that you don't get into trouble?"

Chiyo looked stricken at the very thought.

"Why do you have to leave?"

"I don't live around here, sweetheart. I'm traveling with some friends of mine and I know they're going to be very worried to discover that I'm gone."

"Please stay. You're my first friend," she said. The pleading note in her voice echoed in her clear gold eyes.

_How is it possible to feel so much love and so much hurt for one tiny life?_

"Who takes care of you?" she asked.

"Auntie."

"Can you bring me to your aunt?"

"Yes! She will like you, wait and see." And with that, little Chiyo took off like a shot, jumping from the bed and pulling Katara's hand to indicate she should follow. She rushed through the door and down the stairs.

"Auntie? Auntie!"

Katara experienced a moment of panic. She was being led blindly to the aunt of a child who was blatantly Fire Nation, from her sleek black hair, to her light skin, to her gold eyes. What had she gotten herself into?

However, just then, several children of varying ages and sizes ran past. They were all Earth Kingdom children. There must have been six of them. Katara was so surprised she stopped dead in her tracks, only to be pulled along again by Chiyo. She scarcely had time to take in the image of all the children or be reassured by their presence, before Chiyo stopped in front of a large sliding door.

"Auntie?" Chiyo asked.

"Yes, Chiyo. What is it, darling?" came the voice of a woman from behind the screen. Before Chiyo could respond, the door was flung open and she was scooped up into the arms of a tall and slender woman who promptly began to rain kisses down on every part of the little girl's face and neck she could reach. Chiyo let loose a shrill peal of laughter full of mirth and joy as she squirmed all around, her aunt tickling her mercilessly.

This woman was indeed both tall and slender and most definitely Fire Nation. She too had long black hair, but its true length was concealed in a bun. She wore a scarf on her head and appeared to have been cooking, if the apron and the hand towel sticking out of its pocket were any indication. When she looked past Chiyo and saw Katara, her face registered surprise, but pleasantly so. Placing the girl down, she stood to her full height and smiled at Katara. She looked regal, even in such apparel, but her smile was warm and welcoming.

"And who is this?" she asked.

"I am Katara of the Southern Water Tribe," she said, barely suppressing the urge to curtsey to the woman.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Katara. It is not often that this place is honored a visit by members of the Water Tribe, let alone here in the orphanage."

_An orphanage, oh..._

"I am Yu Ni of the Fire Nation, but everyone calls me Aunt–or Auntie, " she added with a fond glance at little Chiyo who stood by her side, her arm around her leg.

_Yu Ni. That's an interesting name for a Fire Nation woman._

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Yu Ni."

"The pleasure is all mine, Katara. Will you join us for breakfast? I'd like to hear how you came to be here."

Katara thought about Aang and Sokka. She looked out the window at the sun in the sky. She should go... but something inside her told her to stay. She was hungry, but that had nothing to do with it. There was something special about the little girl that captured her heart in a single moment and the woman who lovingly cared for her– not to mention countless other orphans by the sound of it.

"I'd like that very much," she replied, following them into the kitchen.

* * *

"Okay. Sokka, you go to the market and ask around. Toph, you go with him and see if you can't feel anything he may miss. I'm going to fly around again and try to see if I can find her that way. I'll stay out of sight. We meet back here in an hour. Got it?"

"Got it."

"Got it."

With that he took off high into the sky and stayed in the line of the sun so as not to be seen. Sokka and Toph headed to the market.

"Did you sleep well last night?" asked Sokka, already scouting the area.

"Yes, until this morning when Aang started shouting at you." At first, Sokka thought she was angry, but when he looked at her, he realized she was smiling.

"That wasn't funny," he said, his eyebrow arching.

"Oh, yes it was," she said with a chuckle. He smiled too.

"I was half asleep. Everyone knows nothing penetrates my skull when I'm asleep."

"Yeah. If it hadn't been so serious or if Aang hadn't been so upset, I'd have taken the time to laugh at you then."

They entered the market and the talk quieted. They had a job to do, but after nearly forty-five minutes of nothing, they began to lose hope.

"Man, I hope she's not hurt. I wonder why she wandered off like that. You don't think anyone took her do you?"

"No. I would have felt a stranger approach. I'm used to you guys and expect you to be around, so you don't bother me, but I'm very sensitive to the approach of people I don't know. No one walked into camp last night that I didn't know."

"I'm not so sure that that reassures me."

* * *

Aang wasn't having much luck at all. He had flown over the village several times, but there was no sign of Katara. Most women had their hair up in buns or covered with scarves in the market. He saw no braids. There were greens and reds and browns everywhere. He saw no blue. As he flew around and around the little town, he had time to think about her as he hadn't since the Crystal Catacombs. He'd let her go, but what frightened him was that it had worked. He did love her, but now it was no more than he loved Sokka, Toph, or Appa. His romantic feelings for her were gone and he almost missed them. He felt a little foolish, but it was like he was mourning her.

Shaking himself out of his revery, he chastened himself for not paying attention to the task at hand.

_Where are you?_

* * *

Apprehension. That was what Zuko felt when he woke up the next morning. It was understandable. He had just ruined his last chance of ever going home. If his sister truly wanted to, she could come back for him. He had taken their uncle and that was sure to cause more waves than if he'd just fled on his own. Opening his eyes, he let out a sigh. It was done. There was no use in regrets and he didn't truly regret his decision anyway. She had hurt Uncle.

Sitting up, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched. It was warm today and that was nice. He stood and quietly approached the crate. Iroh lay there staring off into the distance. His breathing was regular and as Zuko approached, he turned his eyes to look at him.

"How are you feeling?" Zuko asked, not knowing what else to say. Iroh was in slightly better shape now and had been getting food regularly, so he wasn't as desperate for help as he was when Zuko had first spoken with him. Surely, he remembered whom had gotten him into that situation in the first place.

"We're not on the ship anymore." It wasn't a question.

"No. We're not."

"Does Azula know?"

"I'm sure she's realized it by now."

Iroh looked away from him then. He looked like he'd have nodded if he could've. Zuko experienced a moment's doubt, before shoving it aside. There were things that needed to be said.

"Uncle... I'm sorry," he said, resting his hands on the side of the crate. "I chose wrongly. I betrayed you and, despite my motives and everything that was said to me, I knew exactly what I was doing. I can never repay the debt I owe you, but know this: I will stay with you long enough to see that you heal, then I will leave you to live your life and I will go my own way. Your freedom was the least I could give you."

"Now, let's–"

He'd been about to say 'get you on that bed', but one look from Iroh silenced him. It was amazing how much could be communicated with a single look. He was angry, beyond angry. He was enraged with him. Zuko could tell, just by looking at him that Iroh was going to make him regret his decision, but he could also see that he was going to forgive him. Iroh was prepared to take Zuko's teaching to the next level, since he obviously wasn't understanding what needed to be understood. For the first time Zuko actually feared his Uncle.

* * *

"Well, you're an awful long way from the South Pole. What brings you to our little village?" Yu Ni asked as she mixed several eggs into a large bowl.

"I'm traveling with some friends of mine," Katara replied. She didn't know what else to say. It wasn't like she could tell her 'Oh, I'm fresh from Ba Sing Se where your princess and her infuriating and horrible brother took over, nearly killing the Avatar in the process, who, by the way, is one of those friends I mentioned before.' That'd go over well.

Yu Ni smiled, but didn't question her plans any further. Katara was grateful.

"I must admit. I was surprised to see you and now that I think about it," she said, her brows coming together in confusion, "how did you come to be here this morning Katara?"

"Well, actuall–"

"She was sleeping-walking, Auntie! And I rescued her, because it was a nightmare. People walk in their sleep when their real worried about something, right Katara?" she asked, but didn't give her a chance to answer before jumping right back into the explanation. "She was running away from a boy, Auntie, a boy named Zu–"

Katara slapped her hand over the little girl's mouth. It didn't hurt Chiyo, but she was certainly surprised. Yu Ni looked at Katara curiously, only to see the girl was in a right state. Her eyes were the size of saucers and all the color had drained from her face. Her mouth kept moving, like she wanted to say something, but she didn't utter a sound.

Thinking fast, Katara decided modesty was the best way to go. _I'll make her think it was because of a love interest that I don't want mentioned. _She quickly thought of the most embarrassing moment of her life and waited until she felt the blood rush to her cheeks before letting go of Chiyo.

"I'm sorry. It's just that... I mean... Well, he's-"

Yu Ni surprised her by laughing. It was a beautiful sound and a good laugh, the kind that's contagious and soon little Chiyo and Katara joined her.

"It's okay, Chiyo. I think Katara might not want her boy's name to be mentioned," she said with a knowing smile. Katara breathed a sigh of relief and smiled back in what she hoped was a shy manner. She couldn't believe that had worked.

"Chiyo, what do you mean 'you rescued her'?" Yu Ni asked, turning back to the little girl.

"Oh," Chiyo said, shrinking in her seat and looking anywhere but at her Auntie. "Well, I had a bad dream."

"The one about the wandering bride?" asked Yuni.

"M'hm. So I went to my window to make sure there really wasn't anyone there, but then there was and you know that she can't move on to be with her husband until a child tells her to, so I went out to find her and that's when I realized it wasn't a ghost, so I brought her back here for the night." She hadn't stopped to take a breath and Katara wondered how someone so small could have the lung capacity for such an endeavor. Then her mind jumped to the part where the child had willingly left the house to pull a stranger in off the street. She turned her eyes on Yu Ni. She was not pleased.

"Chiyo! If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. That was a lie– a story Dina made up to frighten you, knowing you would do exactly what you have done. What would have happened if it hadn't been someone kind like Katara? What would have happened if it had been someone evil and they had kidnaped you? I would never have found you! Is that what you want?! How could you do something so foolish?"

It was apparent that Yu Ni's mind had filled with a thousand different scenarios that could have happened– all of them bad. Katara was experiencing her own form of panic now that she too thought about what could have happened to the little girl.

"What were you thinking?" Yu Ni asked as she grabbed the little girl and held her tight. "There are evil people in this world Chiyo, and they won't stop being evil just because you're a child."

"I'm sorry, Auntie," she said. She was crying.

"Promise me you won't ever, _ever_ do that again."

"I promise."

"Good. Now go to your room. I'll call you down for breakfast when it's ready."

Two hearts, one young and one not so young, one Water Tribe and one Fire Nation, were as one as they watched a cherished child disappear through the doorway and listened to her little feet climb the stairs.

"I'm so sorry!" Katara said, turning to Yu Ni.

"It's not your fault. You were sleepwalking; how could you have planned that? I'm just grateful it was you and not someone low enough to do her harm simply for her heritage. We cannot help what people we are born into."

Katara was caught off guard by her tone. It almost sounded like this woman regretted being a Fire Nation woman... but that was preposterous.

"You like children Katara?"

"Yes, very much so," she replied with a smile as she moved to help Yu Ni with the cooking. "I look forward to being a mother someday."

Yuni looked away from her baking and into Katara's eyes. Her own conveyed a seriousness that the occasion didn't seem to warrant.

"Being a mother is the hardest task a woman is ever given. It is the most painful and heartbreaking, but it comes with the most fulfilling rewards."

Katara could only nod.

"Do you have children?" she asked. For some reason, she felt that no matter what this woman answered, it wouldn't be the truth– not the whole truth.

"As you can see, I run an orphanage. Most of the children are Earth Kingdom. Only little Chiyo is of the Fire Nation, but they are all my children. I look after them. I care for them. I love them," she said.

_I think you do, but you have some of your own somewhere don't you? I don't think I want to know why you don't want to talk about them._

Yu Ni finished the pancakes after handing Katara some berries to wash and slice for the children. They worked together to set the table and pour a small amount of milk into each cup. They chatted amiably about trivial things, never moving to more serious subjects. In this way they got on quite well. In fact, they were laughing and smiling the whole time. Katara decided she liked Yu Ni. She was a kind woman who's only fault seemed to have been that she too had been burned by the Fire Nation. That seemed to be a recurring theme among the few Fire Nation citizens she'd actually spoken with. Her mind naturally jumped to Zuko.

She wondered where he was and what he was doing. _Probably lazing about in a palace he doesn't deserve to be in_, she thought, picturing the Fire Nation royalty lounging in the Earth Kingdom Palace of Ba Sing Se. But then she forced herself to shake off such negative thoughts and looked to the woman she was companionably working alongside.

_This is how it's supposed to be. Women work together to take care of the children. It doesn't matter what race you are. If only more Fire Nation people were like this woman._

This got Katara thinking about said Fire Nation women. As she watched Yu Ni ring the bell for the children to come eat, she wondered if they too took joy in the sound of their children's laughter. Then, as the children came running in with freshly cleaned hands and faces, she nearly laughed at the absurdity of her thoughts. _Of course they do– they're women. It doesn't matter who they are. _

For the first time, she attempted to put herself in the place of a Fire Nation woman. Their children marched off to war, many not returning. If they did return, wouldn't they too have scars? Wouldn't they too carry burdens? What if that was Yu Ni's hurt, that her children were taken by the war. This woman dedicated her life to caring for children orphaned by the war- most not even of the Fire Nation. Katara wondered why she had never thought about any of this before. She had considered herself a pretty open-minded person, but now, looking on as this extraordinary woman lovingly tended these special children, she wondered if she judged the color red too quickly.

a/n: I'm so sorry I didn't get this up sooner you guys. I've been distracted with school work and getting my grades up. Please review. I take my reviewers very seriously. One person pointed out that something didn't seem to fit, so I reread the section, found that he was right, and deleted it. I love to hear from you and delight in what you have to say. Thanks for reading! - Cassie


	7. Firebender

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Avatar: The Last Air Bender, the characters, places, or plot involved in the show.

a/n: The site would not let me update, or you'd have had it much, much sooner. I'm so sorry.

**Chapter 7**

'**Firebender'**

Katara spent hours at the orphanage. It was well into the afternoon before she even realized it. She had lived through the day as though she'd had that same routine her entire life. She helped Yu Ni with the dishes as the children went out to play. She praised her after the men came for her wonderful plans for the children. Apparently, several Earth Kingdom men would come each day and would bring the boys with them to teach them a trade. Some of the older girls went to the surrounding houses to help the women who most needed it. The younger girls had lessons with Yu Ni. She taught them to read, to write, how to count money, and basic math skills. The youngest children had a specific room– and it was quite large– where they played during lessons. The rooms were within sight of each other if one stood at a specific place. That was where this capable woman sat during lessons, which were never for too long.

Katara watched as Yu Ni dismissed her students to go play, wondering how she managed it all on her own. She was pleased to see that they raced not outside or to their own toys, but to the other children. There was an outburst of shrill laughter and giggles as the young ones were pounced on by their would-be siblings. Her heart was light as she laughed with them, until her eyes fell upon the lone child off to the side. 

Little Chiyo watched on, blatant longing shining from her eyes. No one ran to her. No one looked at her. No one even seemed to notice that she was there. It was then that Katara noticed Chiyo's clothes. She stuck out against the tide of green in her scarlet dress. It was beautiful, if simple, but only served to draw attention to the fact that she was the only Fire Nation child here. 

Katara crept around the side of the room and walked up behind her as the others began to drag their young companions outside. Bending down, she pulled the lonely girl into a big hug, picking her right up. After an initial gasp of surprise Chiyo clung to her like a lifeline. With little arms around her neck and little legs wrapped around her waist, Katara walked back into the learning room. Yu Ni had finished tidying up what few things they had used in their lessons and was standing by the door, watching them.

"Would you like to go outside, Chiyo?" Katara asked. 

"Only if you are," she replied, her voice muffled.

"Of course, I'll come with you. You can show me all your favorite places. How does that sound? Would you like that?" she asked, glancing at Yu Ni. The elder woman's face was expressionless. She stood there just observing them. Feeling a nod against her neck, Katara moved past her older companion and headed outside. 

"Where will we go, I wonder?" she asked as she placed the little girl down and fixed her dress.

Chiyo reached up for her hand and pulled her off to the right, away from the other children. They walked around behind the hedgerow through the break by the house. She then led Katara along the hedges all the way around to the other side of the yard. When they reached the point where the other children could be heard, she turned back and gestured for Katara to be quiet. Then, ducking, she crawled into the bush. Katara dropped down and followed her. The hedges were thick enough that the hollow wasn't noticeable from outside. She smiled at Chiyo, but didn't speak. The little girl pointed to the leaves opposite the entrance and moved a single branch back. In doing so, it gave her a relatively clear view of the gardens where all the children were. Katara watched through the tiny window as all the other children played. No one noticed the tiny figure in the bushes. No one noticed that the little girl in red wasn't among them.

Looking down at Chiyo, Katara saw the longing in her eyes. She was an outsider. She looked on, wanting to join but knowing she couldn't. They wouldn't allow her to. Yet still she watched. There was wonder in those little eyes as she silently observed them. Their world was foreign to her. She didn't understand it and it captivated her. 

_This isn't how it's supposed to be. She's so young and so sweet. They shouldn't treat her this way. She's just a child. Why is it like this?_

"Chiyo, why don't you go play with them?" she whispered.

Chiyo didn't even look away when she shook her head sadly.

"I have yellow eyes and red clothes. I make the fire move when I come into the house. They don't like me. They are scared."

"You're a firebender?" she asked. 

She was shocked. Firebenders had attacked her village, had killed her mother. Firebenders mercilessly slaughtered troops whether they needed to or not, not even sparing those that would surrender. Firebenders had chased her, had hunted her. The word firebender held all the connotation that the words Fire Nation held. There was a momentary outbreak of chaos within Katara as she tried to reconcile the idea of 'firebender' with the idea of the little girl before her, so sweet and innocent. There must have been something in her tone that conveyed her struggle, for Chiyo's eyes flew to her own. 

The fear was plain to see. Chiyo instantly regretted revealing her shame to Katara– for that is what she considered it: her shame. Tears filled golden eyes as they stared into sapphire ones. Silently, she was begging Katara to accept her, as none of the others would. Yet even as Katara realized this, she realized that Chiyo didn't expect her to. A child without hope, was there anything more wrong?

Katara tried to imagine, looking at the perfect little face before her, what it would be like to be shunned because of her bending. In her village she had been special because she could bend. It was such an integral part of the life of a bender. She had never feared it, never felt ashamed because of it. How hard it would be to live like that. She had no words.

Reaching out, she wiped the little girl's tear stained cheeks and opened her arms to her. Chiyo didn't hesitate, but nearly dove into Katara's embrace, openly sobbing now. Her mother had loved and treasured her. Her Auntie loved her. But no one else even looked twice. She had learned lessons no child should learn, lessons of loneliness and the ways of the world.

Still holding the girl, Katara awkwardly clambered out of the hidden alcove. She carried her away from the garden, away from the laughing children. She could feel that there was water nearby, a stream. Oh, what she could do with a stream.

"Chiyo, did you know that I am also a bender?"

Chiyo pulled away just far enough to look Katara in the eye, shaking her head 'no' in the process. 

"It's true. I am a waterbender. Did you know that I was the only waterbender in my village?"

Again her little head moved from side to side. This time she wiped the tears from her eyes too.

"Were they mean to you? Did they call you names and play tricks on you?" she asked, before looking all around to make sure they were alone. Then she added in a hushed whisper, "Did you ever hurt them by accident when they scared you?"

Katara kept her face blank. She knew that her reaction to these questions was vitally important.

"They weren't mean to me, Chiyo, and they didn't call me names or pick on me, but they didn't understand me, either. You see, there were no benders of any kind there and hadn't been in a long while. I was different. There were things I could have helped with, if they'd given me the chance, but, because they didn't understand, I wasn't allowed to. 

"This one time, I went with my brother when he was trying to fish. He wasn't having much luck," she said with a smile as she set the little girl down. They had reached the stream. "Then I saw a fish swimming right next to our canoe. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen. What would I know about fishing, right?" she asked the little girl with a wink. It had exactly the effect she'd been hoping for. Chiyo's face split into her own adorable smile.

"Well, then I got this idea. I'm waterbender. Maybe I could lift the water around the fish and bring it over the boat long enough to get it in the net. Good idea right?"

Chiyo nodded, smiling wider. "Did it work?"

"Almost," Katara said as she moved to face the stream. Carefully, as though it were_ really_ difficult, she lifted up a bubble of water out of the stream. To her surprise and Chiyo's delight, there was even a small fish in it. "You see, I got it up and over the boat, but my brother had no faith or respect for my abilities, so he didn't listen when I tried to show him."

"Then what happened," Chiyo asked, hanging on her every word. 

"Genius that he is, he popped the bubble with the butt of his spear," she said, allowing the bubble to pop over a rock and laughing with Chiyo as the fish flopped off the rock and back into the stream, "and the fish bounced off his head before falling right back into the ocean. He got soaked."

"He should have listened to you," Chiyo said seriously, though her eyes smiled.

"Yes, he should have. It was hard to be a waterbender with no help, no training, and no one who understood. But even though it was hard, I never ran away from it. I was never ashamed of my bending. It was as much a part of me as my hair, my eyes, my voice, or my personality. Your bending is important too, Chiyo. The other children, are any of them earthbenders?"

"No. There was one from before I got here, but he got adopted when the people in town found out. They really like the earthbenders."

"In the Fire Nation, it is an honor to be a firebender," Katara said. She watched as the little girl looked at her curiously, doubtfully. "It's true. No matter what kind of bender you are, it's always important. A bender is a bender. We can't hide it. We can't deny it. It is who we are. You are a firebender and there is nothing wrong with that. You should be proud. The other children, they just can't understand, because they don't know," she said as she took a seat on the ground beside her.

"Who did you hurt, Chiyo?"

Chiyo visibly paled and looked away. Her hands plucked at the grass and she didn't answer at first. Just when Katara was going to give up and change the subject, she started to speak. It was obvious that it was very hard for her.

"I have nightmares. They used to be about all kinds of things," she started off. Her voice was far away and her eyes were unfocused. "Dina– she was my 'big sister' here. Everyone gets a big brother or sister when they come. Anyway, Dina was mine and she shared a room with me. She knew about my nightmares, because I would wake her up when I cried. She would yell at me and tell me worse things than what I dreamed about. Then the New Year came and it was time to celebrate. Auntie had told me I could stay up with the older kids so we could see the sun rise on the first day of the new year even though I was still too young. I had my wish all picked out. I was ready.

"Auntie built a fire outside for us so we could be noisy outside and not wake up the littler kids inside. I was so excited. The older kids weren't mean to me then. They didn't talk to me the same way as they did to each other, but they were still nice. Dina told me to go inside and ask Auntie if we could roast the nuts that grow on the trees in the gardens so I went inside and did what she asked. Auntie said 'Of course we can; we do it every year.' 

"I ran back to tell them, but they were all gone. No one was out there. The light from the fire moved all around the garden. It made it look like the spirits had come out. I thoughf maybe they were playing a trick, so I walked to the edge of the light and called for Dina."

Katara had kept quiet and motionless up to this point in the story. Here Chiyo's voice broke and became a shaky whisper. She still stared off into the distance. Katara moved closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. She didn't seem to notice. 

"They were gone. I couldn't see them anywhere, but I could hear... things- whispers, dark, scary whispers. The shadows started to move in strange ways and I got scared. I called for Dina again, but when I did the shadows burst out of the dark and came right at me. The noises they made weren't right. People aren't supposed to make noises like that. I screamed and I ran backwards, but I fell. Then somebody else screamed. I opened my eyes and when I moved my hands all the others were there. They had their dark cloaks on and were all screaming and crying around a new fire in the middle. Auntie came running. She had wet cloths and she put out the fire.

The tears were streaming down her cheeks now. She took Katara's hand in her own and squeezed it so tight. Katara knew what had happened before Chiyo ever finished her story. 

"I didn't know why they were afraid. I didn't know why the fire scared them. Then Auntie picked up something from where the fire was. It was Dina. The fire was burning her. Auntie rushed her inside. All the others ran past me. They called me things. One boy pushed me and I fell. My hand got burned too, but I didn't feel it hurt right away.

"I went inside too. They were crowded at the bathing room. They didn't see me, so I got a chair and stood on it. Dina was in the water. I could hear her crying, but Auntie was in the way so I couldn't see until she moved," she said. At this point she turned and looked right at Katara. It was like she was there again, seeing all of these horrible things happen all over again. 

"Katara, her whole face was burned. Her hands were too. Her skin was bloody and broken and... and burned."

Katara pulled Chiyo onto her lap and cradled her in her arms. She was horrified, by the whole situation. Chiyo wept. Her tiny frame was wracked with sobs that seemed to come from the depths of her being. She clung to Katara, her hands clenching at Katara's clothes. Katara cried too. Aang had hurt her with his one attempt at firebending. She had seen the guilt and fear it had caused in him. He was older, stronger, more secure in himself. How much worse it would be for the tiny orphan girl who had been different before, and shunned after. 

"Oh, Chiyo. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Chiyo. Shhh," she hushed, as she held her close and rubbed her back, "It's alright now. It's okay. Shhh."

It was a long while before the little girl quieted, before her little hands loosened their grip, but even once she had, Katara did not move from her place. She stared at the water, watched as it bubbled and flowed. 

"It wasn't her fault."

Sometime during the story Katara had realized that Yu Ni had joined them. It didn't surprise her when she spoke, stepping out from behind them to sit on a rock beside the stream. 

"Dina was an evil child. She tortured Chiyo daily. I removed her from Chiyo's room, but it didn't stop her hatefulness. Dina was the daughter of a Fire Nation man and an Earth Kingdom woman. Her father never acknowledged her and left her mother with nothing. They struggled for a long time before her mother fell ill. Aneko, she was the sweetest type of woman. She loved in a way most people cannot understand: wholly, unconditionally. She gave everything of herself, and Dina loved her very much, but she was not with her long enough.

"Because of their horrible poverty, Aneko fell ill. She passed on when Dina was only seven. Dina came here then, when they found her. She had learned to hate in the three days between her mother's death and the time she came to me. She was angry. She hated her father for abandoning them; she hated her mother for leaving her; she was filled with it. Chiyo is so loving and accepting, I thought she could help Dina, but I was wrong.

"You see, I have lived among the Earth Kingdom peoples for so long, that at times I forget the extent to which I am different. It did not occur to me that Dina would see in Chiyo and I her father who had betrayed she and her mother, but that is what happened. I don't know why, but over time she seemed to form an attachment to me of sorts, though she had a bitter enmity toward Chiyo. She was so cruel to her, always lying and telling her stories to frighten her. That night she had all the older children dress in their dark cloaks and hide to scare her. She had them make noises and rush her. I came outside just as it happened. I saw Chiyo run back and fall. Her arms flew up to cover her face and the fire followed. It shot right to the leader of the pack. 

"Of course it would be Dina. I barely remember what happened after that. I got her in the house after putting the fire out. It was mostly the cloak that burned, but her face was hit directly and her hands as well. She'll bare the scars forever and what breaks my heart most," she said as she reached out and stroked Chiyo's soft hair, "is that Chiyo will too."

"Where is she now?" Katara asked.

"She was taken in by an older woman who had lost her husband in the war. They moved away soon after. I haven't heard from them since."

"Are you a firebender?"

"No, or I would work with her on it. There isn't one in this town, or the next. I see her sometimes, watching the fire. When her dreams frighten her so much that she comes to find me, I always light a fire, even when it's too hot. It calms her, soothes her. She watches the candles and the torches. I know what she needs in those moments, but she doesn't. When I tried talking to her about it, telling her that it was okay for her to be a firebender, so wouldn't listen."

Katara hugged the girl closer to her, willing her heart to transfer her love to Chiyo. She stood, Yu Ni helping her keep her balance with the little one still in her arms. She carried her back through the gardens and into the house. She noticed the older children were back and everyone was doing their chores. Walking past them, she went straight to Chiyo's room and lay her down on the bed. The girl only stirred a little as Katara pulled her sheets up over her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Be safe now, little Chiyo."

She stepped back and paused for a moment. She really didn't want to leave. She didn't want Chiyo to wake up without her there. But she needed to get back. The others were probably frantic. Still she stood there. It took her a long time before she could bring herself to leave, and even then she backed away, never moving her eyes from the little girl who had stolen her heart. 

a/n: Thank you all for your wonderful suggestions for the chapter six title! A special thanks to AnimeAngel90, who's idea I actually used. I had thought of using 'judging the color red' but wanted to save it for a later chapter, so good job to those who were thinking along those same lines. Thank you all. Your support means the world to me!

Oh, and to my 'anonymous' reviewer: I adore you, anonymous or not, and thank you for the tip. I usually italicize, but for some reason capitals were what came out. You're wonderful and I look forward to hearing from you in future. -Cassie 


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